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Down the Pub: UK MMA Heats Up

LONDON — What can you do with a drunken sailor, eh? That's the sort of question I had buzzing through my mind as I awoke this morning, still feeling the ill effects from my terrible battle with the pec deck machine yesterday.

You know how the story goes — it said something about my mother and I just don't stand for that sort of thing. A couple of head-butts later and I was in hospital having some rude nurse gluing my head back together. Fortunately everything's hunky-dory now, except for the gigantic scab on my head and the fact that I'm not allowed to wash my hair.

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These sorts of concerns shouldn't apply to the modern, metrosexual MMA fan in the UK. Something special's happened here. It's like that Big Bang theory I keep hearing about except that what seems to have happened is that a bunch of TV executives, MMA promoters and some fertility experts have got together, had something of a mass, writhing orgy — or "big bang " — and then their illegitimate love children have spawned in a number of locations this summer.

What am I talking about?

Well, fighting of course. Perhaps I should be more specific.

Cage Rage 12

The baldy boys from the hood have been working hard to retain their newly found status as small screen superstars. A wink, a shill and a come-hither look seems to be all that's required these days as the Geer-O'Donnell massive attracts brighter and brighter stars to frolic merrily on their growing colossus of a show. And, seriously, Cage Rage 12 is boasting the sort of bliss-inducing card that makes me drool like a fat man at a beauty contest for sexy pies.

I am genuinely shocked and delighted by the quality of this card. There is no doubting that Cage Rage is and long has been, the top show in the UK. But by attracting quality international names like "Shaolin," Travis Lutter, Gerald Strebendt and seemingly half of the entire Chute Boxe roster, as well as having Babalu and Matt Lindland fight on previous shows, Cage Rage has clearly demonstrated that it has come a long way since the days when your mum could get on the card if she asked nicely.

I'll deal with predictions for this card closer to the time, but let's just say that if Lee Murray doesn't win, I'm going to eat my own nose. The Cage Rage 12 card, as it currently stands, is below. The event will take place on July 2, at the Wembley Conference centre. As with all the London cards headlined by Lee Murray, it's likely to have an electric atmosphere. I'll see you there.

"Lightning" Lee Murray vs. Kyosuke Sasaki
Sol "Zero Tolerance" Gilbert vs. Mark "The Wizard" Weir
Antonio "Junior" Da Silva vs. Rafal "Earthquake" Carino
Gerald Stebendt vs. Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro
Nilson De Castro vs. Curtis "Bang 'em Out" Stout
Travis Lutter vs. Matt "The Hardest" Ewin
Mark "The Beast" Epstein vs. Mattias "The Fire" Riccio
Herb Dean vs. Tom Blackledge
Alex Reid vs. Hassan Muridi
Brad "1 Punch" Pickett vs. Steven "Widge" Milward
Phil "Gladiator" Norman vs. Darren Guisha
Cyrille "The Snake" Diabate vs. Fabio Piemonte
Rick "Just The Trick" Andrews vs. Tony "T" Thompson
Dave Lee vs. Jason "Bad Ass" Barrett

Cage Rage 13

I've got the confirmation first! Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh!

Sorry, now that that piece of immaturity is out of the way, let's deal with the card that's been handed to me by a grinning, Cheshire-cat of a bald man. This is what it says:

Dear Pedro,

Thank you so much for last night - it was magical. I'll take your advice and start dosing up on the St John's Wort for that embarrassing little secret we talked about. Oh, and I attach below the confirmed fights for Cage Rage 13: "No Fear", all set for the Wembley Conference Centre on 10 September.

Yours with love and devotion,

Huggy-Wuggy


The attached bit of paper said:

Ian "The Machine" Freeman vs. TBA
Sol "Zero Tolerance" Gilbert vs. Chris Leben
Mike "The Count" Bisping vs. Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos
Antony Rea vs. Jason DeLucia
James "The Colussus" Thompson vs. TBA
Alex Evans vs. Tulio Palhares
Melvin Manhoef vs. Pierre Guillet
Ross "The Boss" Mason vs. Dexter Casey
Mark "The Beast" Epstein vs. Ross Pointon
Abdul Mohammed vs. Paul "Hands of Stone" Jenkins

Chris Leben against Sol Gilbert! Bisping against Cyborg! Less of the big international names so far compared to Cage Rage 12, but just as much fun if you're savvy about the UK scene. I don't think I fancy TBA's chances, though. Not unless he turns out to be Junior, which, incidentally, would be brilliant. Can you imagine Junior and James Thompson going at it?

Anyway …

King of the Cage UK

The invading usurper of a show sees another angry bald man reach across the pond and nab a great idea from the land that brought you Kentucky Fried Chicken. Again, just quite what they managed to say to get some Californians to agree to bring their yellow show to the greyest, rainiest city in the UK will have to remain a trade secret. (I personally think it had something to do with chips, gravy and the Full Monty.) But the bottom line is that KOTC UK is a reality, not just in Sheffield but also on your TV screens, on the ever-lovable small-screen tits'n'violence extravaganza that is the Men and Motors channel.

Let's start with the TV show. I'm just going to reproduce one of the press release for that because it's quite a fun one:

The Monday Fight Night schedule [on Men and Motors] will present a weekly King of the Cage show, with fights culled from the last 12 months of worldwide King of the Cage shows, including King of the Cage Mortal Sin, Revenge and Payback. The latest action, never seen on DVD or outside of US Pay Per View before!

Alongside the US footage, Man and Motors will be airing the UK events, so you can see how our homebred fighters fare on the world stage! With the first two King of the Cage UK shows already confirmed:

King of the Cage: Warzone, 24th June 2005 at ICE Sheffield

King of the Cage: Subzero, 3rd September 2005 at ICE Sheffield

The first King of the Cage show will be aired on Monday 27th June at 10pm, with weekly shows from that point. So make sure that you tune in to the hottest Mixed Martial Arts show around…. KING OF THE CAGE!

The card for the Warzone show in Sheffield looks to be a bit of all right too. The latest version of it is included below. As well as the four prestige international fights, there's some solid UK bouts mixed in there too. In terms of picks, I'll predict that despite the endless guts shown by Damien Riccio, the crazy Frenchman's going to succumb to the might of New Mexico's Villasenor.

On the Butlin-Bennett clash, I think Butlin's in with a good chance. Whilst not having faced the level of competition that Bennett has, Butlin is nevertheless a solid and well-rounded fighter. I hope he scores the upset but I don't think he will (that's the nature of an upset, after all).

Kampann's going to be the first European to take a victory over the Americans in my opinion. Pierre Guillet won't follow suit. As for the under card, the real barnstormer is going to be the Santana-Hardy clash. Santana’s grappling is like quicksand but "Fearless Dan" isn't an easy dog to put away and he hits like a freight train (or so I'm told, presumably by people who have been hit by both in the past and can thus make the comparison).

Damien Riccio vs. Joey Villasenor
Ian Butlin vs. Charles Bennett
Pierre Guillet vs. James Lee
Martin Kampmann vs. Brendan Seguin
Matt Thorpe vs. Arran Barrow
Dan Hardy vs. Henrique Santana
Paul Jenkins vs. Atif Zariouhi
Ross Pettifer vs. Leslie Ojigabana
Lars Besand vs. Gregory Bouchalem
Tom Blackledge vs. Adam Woolmer
Ian Jones vs. Karl Morgan
Aaron Karels vs. Kris Leverton

CageWarriors: Strike Force 2

Following hot on the heels of the "UK versus France" theme at the first Strike Force show, "UK versus the World" makes its way back to the Coventry Skydome on July 16. Not all the fights have been confirmed at the time of press but four have, all good ones. The Ewin-Riccio clash is a grudge match, and the third time these two fight, with the score being one to Riccio and one No Contest. Remedios-Fernandez is another rematch, with Remedios looking to avenge his narrow decision loss. Pointon-Valentin will be a brawl and, last but not least, new featherweight champion Danny Batten makes his first defense against the tough Finn, Tom Niinimaki.

CageWarriors are hoping to confirm all 11 matches this weekend.

Matt "The Hardest" Ewin vs. Damien Riccio
Leigh Remedios vs. Emmanuel Fernandez
Ross Pointon vs. Thomas Valentin
Tom Niinimaki vs. Danny Batten

Tales from the Ref

Everyone in the UK MMA scene is bald but not all bald men are equal. One baldy stands (shiny) head and shoulders above all the rest. This is Grant "Preparation is Key" Waterman. As the photo accompanying this article proves, Grant is a professional from start to finish.

In this regular spot, I'm going to include any random stories I hear from the man when he's pissed, whether he agrees to have them printed or not. … Today, we're going to talk about the fourth installment Grant's (now re-branded) show, Full Contact Fight Night, where the man himself takes up the story.

"I don't know how it happened," he says. "It's not like it was a small one — as far sofas go, this was a whopper. It was just, you know, there … and then next thing I know I get a call from the hotel and there's all this police there and they want to charge me for this five-seater sofa that's been stolen from the foyer. Crazy."

And finally …

Jean Silva's fighting Gomi? Bloody hell! I love Silva — I think he's an entertaining, charismatic fighter with bags of talent. The problem is that he's a very small lightweight, usually weighing in at just under 150 pounds for most of his fights. Gomi's really big and really tough and … well, good luck to the White Bear.

Sherdog.com has managed to get some fruity interviews with Mike Bisping and the boys from the Wolfslair Gym, the rising new force in UK MMA. As soon as certain lazy reporters get these transcribed and ready, they'll be appearing on a monitor near you.

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