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Former Ultimate Fighting Championship middleweight titleholder Anderson Silva this week opened up about the devastating leg injury he suffered in his rematch with Chris Weidman at UFC 168. Silva discussed the injury in an interview with “Fantastico” on Brazilian network Rede Globo.

“I’m improving. I’m not going 100 percent, but I’m already taking little steps with a crutch,” Silva said. “It’s a pain that I do not wish on anyone. Since I came from Las Vegas [and] I left the hospital, I can’t sleep all night. It’s very difficult.”

In the interview, “The Spider” revealed he has had trouble shaking memories about the moment of the injury, even as he tries to figure out why it happened.

“I see a movie of everything that happened before that moment of the accident. The whole time, I’m trying to understand, ‘Why?’” Silva said. “Why did I have to break my leg? Why did I have to go through this situation? I’m trying to understand the message that God is trying to send me at that time.”

In reviewing his second fight against Weidman, the former champion analyzed the mistakes he made in the bout, including the exact time of the strike that caused his lower leg to fracture.

“I got to see some details and technical mistakes that I made in the fight. To give the perfect shot right there, I had to divert his attention with a punch to the face, so I totally diverted his attention from the low-kick movement. What you can tell is that he’s protecting the shot line from the waist up,” Silva said, “and he lifted his leg instinctively. The kick was strong at his point of unbalance. I believe that if people realize these technical details, they will see that it was an instinctive thing. It wasn’t something he had trained to do. I think what happened was inevitable. I’m pretty sure I would have won [if I hadn’t been injured].”

Silva also shared exactly what went through his mind when the injury occurred.

“When I saw that my leg was broken, I was terrified. I couldn’t tell if the fracture was exposed or not. Then I spoke to the judge who was there with me so they could put my leg in place as quickly as possible, and the pain was absurd,” Silva said. “I only thought one thing: Is it over? Will I ever walk again? Am I alright? But I am confident that I will succeed. I will return.”

Since leaving the hospital, Silva has spent his days with his family in Los Angeles. The Brazilian admits he is living through the most difficult time of his career, mainly by returning home with his injury.

“My children are waking up every day to my screams of pain, and it’s a very bad thing for them. These days, I’ve been crying in the car so I don’t wake them,” Silva said. “I never before had to come home bruised, not a cut, nothing. It was the saddest thing to get home and look at my wife, my children, and be hurt. It’s the one thing that saddened me greatly, and it’s something that greatly moved me. It was the worst moment of my life and my career.”

The stories of interest on Sherdog.com this week:

Progress Report

Gut Check

Tragic Loss

Network Player

Violent Celebration

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